The Church That Jesus Built & The Church of Christ

PDF versionThe Church That Jesus Built

&

The Church of Christ

David Sain

            The religious world is permeated with confusion and division, with hundreds of religious groups in the United States. Each of them has a distinctive name, and each has some doctrine or practice that distinguishes it from the others.

            In such a religious environment, it is easy for one to know about a religious group, yet not really know much about what they teach and believe. In fact, because we often form opinions and draw conclusions from hearsay and second hand information, it is easy for one to base his knowledge of a particular group upon inaccurate and misleading information.

            Such is often the case with the Church of Christ. Many people have heard of the Church of Christ, through mass media, or by seeing the words on a church building. Others have become aware of the Church of Christ by being acquainted with someone who is a member of the Church of Christ.   And many people, upon hearing about the Church of Christ, have asked, “Who are these people?” “What do they believe?”  “What do they teach?” “ How do they worship?” and “What is their historical background?”

            My purpose in this writing is to answer some of the questions that are commonly asked about the Church of Christ, with the Bible as the foundation and final source of authority for the answers herein provided.

What is the Origin of the Church of Christ?

            The apostle Paul taught that the church was a part of the plans which the Lord made before the foundation of the world (Eph. 1:1-4; 3:8-11). In other words, before the Lord spoke this terrestrial ball into existence, before any bird perched on the branch of a tree, and before Adam first walked on the earth, God planned the cross and the church.

            Jesus said to Peter, his apostle, “Upon this rock I will build my church” (Matt. 16:18). And all that believe the Bible believe that Jesus did what he said he would do. In accordance with divine prophecies (e.g., Isa. 2:2-3, Dan. 2:44), Jesus built his church. On the first Pentecost following the resurrection of Christ, the church was established, according to the divine record of Acts 2.

            Today, by faithfully following the New Testament pattern for the church, the Church of Christ of the twenty-first century is that church that was prophesied and built by Jesus Christ.

Where Are the Headquarters of the Church of Christ,

and Who is the Head of the Church of Christ?

            While most denominations have earthly headquarters, such is not the case with the Church of Christ. Universally, the Christ of Christ has no earthly organization. There is no council or convention in which a body of men governs or legislates for all of the churches of Christ, contrary to that which is the case in many denominations.

            Two times, the apostle Paul declared that the heavenly Father made Jesus to be head over all things to the church, which is his body (Eph. 1:22-23; Col. 1:18), and there is no individual who is the earthly head of the church.

            The church is pictured as the body of Christ (I Cor. 12:13, 27), and that depiction of the church leads to a greater comprehension of the role of the church, under the direction and control of Jesus, the head of the body. In other words, the action of the body should be under the control of the head.

            While Jesus Christ is the head of the church and is “over all things” (Col. 1:18; Eph. 1:22-23), there is a divinely-authorized plan of organization in the local congregations. According to the New Testament, elders were appointed in every city (Titus 1:5). and were made overseers of the church (Acts 20:28). And the church is taught to obey those who have the rule (Heb. 13:17). 

            It should be noted that the authority of the elders does not extend beyond the local congregation.  There is no body of men that rules or governs over all of the various congregations, or over any group of churches in a given geographical area.  Each congregation of the Lord’s church is autonomous. 

            Also, deacons are a part of the Lord’s church (1 Tim. 3:8-13).  The word deacon means a servant, and that is the role of a deacon in the local congregation.  The deacon has no authority other than that which is delegated to him by the elders.

            The preacher in the Lord’s church is an evangelist – a minister (I Cor. 3:5).  He is not the  pastor and, as a preacher, does not have any more authority than any other member of the congregation. 

How Does One Become a Member of the Church of Christ?

            As previously noted, the church’s glorious beginning is recorded in the second chapter of the Acts of the Apostles. There, Luke informed us that the Lord added those who were saved to the church (Acts 2:47).

            • How did people become a part of the church? Answer: The Lord added them.

            • Whom did the Lord add? Answer: The saved.

            • To what were the saved added? Answer: The church.

            Since the saved are the ones whom the Lord adds to the church, the very important question to be answered is: who are the saved? Well, a careful and objective study of the New Testament clearly reveals how people are saved from their sins, and become members of the church.

            (1) One must hear the gospel (Rom. 10:17).

            (2) One must believe in Jesus Christ (Acts 16:31).  Also, see Mark 16:15-16.

            (3) One must repent from sins (Acts 2:38).  Also, see Acts 17:30-31.

            (4) One must confess faith in Jesus (Acts 8:37).  Also, see Romans 10:9-10.

            (5) One must be baptized for the remission of sins (Acts 2:38).  Also, see I Peter 3:21.

            When one complies with these instructions, he is saved, and, as noted earlier, the Lord adds him to the church (Acts 2:47).

            Thus, to answer the question that heads this section, one becomes a member of the Church of Christ by believing and obeying the Gospel, which results in salvation, at which point the Lord adds him to the church. And it should be noted that one does not become a member of the Church of Christ by “joining the church.” Although that phrase is common to the denominations of the religious world, it is foreign to the scriptures. One does not join the church, and members of the church do not “vote” one into the church. Instead, the Lord adds the saved to the church.

What is the Creed of the Church of Christ?

            First, let me point out that the term creed usually refers to a set of fundamental religious beliefs. In other words, a creed is a statement of what a particular religious group believes and practices. And, just as there are dozens of churches that are of human origin, but only one church of divine origin, there are dozens of creeds that are of human origin, but only one of divine origin.

            So, in answer to the question above, “No, the Church of Christ does not have a human creed, but we do have a divine creed, which is the Bible, the Word of God.” Many churches publish a “discipline,” some a “catechism,” others a “confession of faith,” or a “manual.” But the Church of Christ does not have such a publication. But, why?

            Well, the Lord told the apostles that he would send the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to bring to their remembrance all that he had taught them (John 14:26), and to guide them into all truth (John 16:13).  Therefore, as the apostle Paul affirmed, the words that they spoke were not by the will of man, but by the Holy Spirit (1 Co. 2:12-13, 2 Pet. 1:20-21).

            The Bible is inspired of God and completely equips us  with all truth that pertains to life and godliness, and thoroughly equips us unto every good work (2 Pet. 1:3; 2 Tim. 3:16-17). Therefore, we do not need to write a creed. And it would be a valid conclusion to say that any creed of human authorship that contains less than God’s Word is not of God, and any creed that goes beyond that which the Bible teaches is likewise not of God. And, if a creed contains exactly what the Bible teaches, it serves no justifiable purpose since we already have the all-sufficient Bible.

How Does the Church of Christ Worship?

            Throughout history, in the Patriarchal, Mosaical, and Christian ages, God has made it emphatically clear that not all acts of worship are acceptable unto him. Instead, the Biblical record reveals that the only acts of worship acceptable unto him are those which he has authorized (Gen. 4:3-5/Heb. 11:4; Lev. 10:1-2; 1 Sam. 15:22; Mat. 15:8-9; John 4:23-24). Therefore, the Church of Christ engages only in those acts of worship that are authorized in the New Testament for Christian worship, to wit:

(1) On the night before His crucifixion, Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper (Matt. 26:26-28), eating unleavened bread and drinking fruit of the vine (Matt. 26:16-29), with the bread representing the body of Christ, and the fruit of the vine representing the blood of Christ.   The disciples of Christ are instructed to do this in remembrance of Jesus (I Cor. 11:23-29), and the New Testament example of this observance was upon the first day of the week (Acts 20:7).

            There is no New Testament command or example that authorizes the church to observe the Lord’s Supper on any other day of the week. Therefore, the Church of Christ partakes of the Lord’s Supper only upon Sunday, the first day of the week.

(2) The New Testament church was taught to make a free-will offering on the first day of the week. Each one was to give according to his prosperity (I Cor. 16:1-2), giving cheerfully and liberally, according to what he had purposed in his heart (II Cor. 9:6-7).

            There is no New Testament command or example that authorizes fund-raising methods such as church-sponsored bake-sales or rummage sales. Therefore, the Church of Christ follows the New Testament pattern of free-will offerings upon the first day of the week.

(3) The New Testament church was also a praying people (Acts 2:42; 4:23-31; 12:12; et al).  The Lord’s “will” was for men to pray every where (I Tim. 2:8), with “holy” men leading the worship and the women being in subjection to the men (1 Tim. 2:11-12).

            There is no New Testament authority for a woman to lead in prayer, or lead in any other capacity when the church is assembled. Neither is there any New Testament authority for a non-Christian (male or female, young or old) to lead the church in any act of worship. Therefore, when the Church of Christ is assembled for worship, all the acts of worship are led by Christian males.

(4) The great commission to preach the gospel and make disciples of all nations (Mk. 16:15; Mat. 28:19) was carried out faithfully by the early Christians (Acts 8:1-4, 20:7). A study of worship in the early church shows that preaching was an integral part of their worship assemblies.

            In the Church of Christ, we believe that preaching is God’s chosen method of calling men out of the world into righteousness (Rom. 10:13-17; 1 Cor. 1:21; 1 Thes. 4:7), and we believe the Word of God is able to build up the church and cause us to grow spiritually (Acts 20:32; 1 Pet. 2:2). Therefore, the Church of Christ faithfully preaches the Word of God as a part of our worship.

(5) The New Testament church was commanded to sing spiritual songs and make melody in their hearts to the Lord, with the whole congregation involved (Eph. 5:19; Col. 3:16).

            One of the things first noticed by many people about the Church of Christ is that we do not use of instrumental music in worship. But, why?

Why Does the Church of Christ Not Use Instrumental Music in Worship?

            First, allow me to establish what the issue really is in this matter. The real issue of instrumental music in worship is not a question of the beauty of either vocal or instrumental music, nor of our personal likes or dislikes.  There are people who seem to think that the Church of Christ does not have instrumental music in worship because we do not like instrumental music–period!   That is not true.  Most of us have stereos in our houses and in our cars so that we might enjoy good music, at home and away from home.  It is not a question of not liking music.

            And, the issue is not a question of whether we think we can sing better with or without instrumental music.  How we sound should not determine if it is right or wrong.

            Furthermore, the issue is not popularity, i.e., how many people use or reject instrumental music in worship.  The fact that our peers do or do not use it should not be a factor in our acceptance or rejection of it.

            Neither is the issue the sincerity or goodness of those who use or reject instrumental music in worship.   Sincerity and goodness within themselves do not make one (or something) right (Prov. 14:12; Matt. 7:21-23).

            The real issue in the matter before us is: What is God’s will on the subject?  That, and that alone, is the issue. 

                        The New Testament clearly instructs Christians to sing.  Paul instructed,

“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord” (Eph. 5:19).

 And he commanded,

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord” (Col. 3:16).

            Paul wrote the Corinthians, “. . . I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also (I Cor. 14:15).  James wrote, “Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms (Jas. 5:13). 

            Indisputably, the foregoing scriptures clearly teach that Christians are to sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.  When we do this in worship, we are doing exactly that which God has authorized.

            But, where is the scripture that commands instrumental music in Christian worship?  It does not exist!  Where is the scripture that provides an example of instrumental music in Christian worship?  It does not exist! Where is the scripture that authorizes instrumental music in Christian worship by inference?  It does not exist! 

            If we use instrumental music in worship, we do so without authority from God.

            There are only two kinds of music known to man: vocal and instrumental.  Each is a definite action and can be done independently of the other.  Had the Lord instructed us generically to “make music,” we would be free to have vocal or instrumental music, or both vocal and instrumental music in worship.  But the Lord’s instruction is not generic. He has specified the kind of music by which he wants us to worship him.  He has told us to sing. 

            Therefore, we have authority from God for vocal music in worship, but we have no authority from God for instrumental music in worship.  Let it be understood that this is our simple and deeply-felt reason (and it is reason enough) for rejecting instrumental music in Christian worship. Congregational singing is the only kind of music divinely authorized for Christian worship!

            The answer to the question of this section is: the Church of Christ does not engage in the use of instrumental music in worship because there is no authority for the use of instrumental music in Christian worship, and we believe that we must do only that for which we have Biblical authority!

Does the Church of Christ Believe in Water Salvation?

            One of the most common misunderstandings about the Church of Christ is what we teach and believe about the relationship of baptism to salvation. For example, many are the people who think that “the Church of Christ believes in water salvation,” and that we do not believe in salvation by grace.

            Most religious groups, that teach and believe that Jesus is the Lord and Savior, teach and practice baptism. Consequently, most people in these groups believe that being baptized is something that they ought to do. However, as a careful examination of their faith will show, most people in those religious groups do not believe that baptism is a requirement for salvation. Their conclusion is that baptism is important, but not essential to salvation. They believe that one is saved by grace when he accepts Jesus as his personal savior, and that the act of baptism is an outward expression of inward regeneration.

            Such conclusions indicate a misunderstanding of what the scriptures teach about baptism. My personal experiences convince me that many people who misunderstand the truth about baptism are honest and sincere in their beliefs. However, as stated in the previous section, an honest heart and sincere belief do not, within themselves, mean that one is right. As Solomon stated, “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death” (Proverbs 14:12). Saul of Tarsus was an example of this truth. He stated that he acted in good conscience in all that he did (Acts 23:1), even when he was a persecutor of Christians (Acts 22:4).

            So, what does the Bible teach about baptism?

1.     The Bible Teaches That Baptism Is Immersion In Water. The apostle Paul taught that the action that one takes in being baptized is in the likeness of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. In that context, he wrote,

“Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life (Romans 6:4).

            Also, in harmony with that, in his epistle to the Colossians, Paul said that we are “buried with him in baptism” (Col. 2:12). A Biblical example of baptism (i.e., immersion) in water is recorded in Acts 8:35-39. There, it is written that the Ethiopian, after being taught about Jesus, saw water and requested that he be baptized. And Philip, the evangelist, who had taught him about Jesus, went down into the water with him and “baptized him.”

(2)    The Bible Teaches That Baptism Is An Action Taken By A Penitent Believer. According to the Scriptures, the proper candidate for baptism is one who believes the Gospel (Mark 16:15-16), who has repented from his sins (Acts 2:36,38), and who has confessed that he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God (Acts 8:35-39).

            Obviously, these divinely imposed requirements mean that the practice of baptizing infants is without Biblical authority or divine approval. Infants do not have the mental capability to comprehend and believe the gospel, which, in turn, also means that they are incapable of confessing faith in Jesus Christ, from the heart. Furthermore, infants are not subject to the command to repent from sin, because infants are not guilty of sin, as Jesus taught in Matthew 18:3 and Matthew 19:14.

(3) The Bible Teaches That Baptism Is To Be Done In The Name Of Jesus. The apostle Peter proclaimed,

“Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost” (Acts 2:38).

            Therefore, the candidate for baptism is instructed to have himself baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. To do something in the name of Jesus is to do that which he has authorized, in the manner and for the reasons that are stipulated.

(4) The Bible Teaches That the Purpose of Baptism is to Obtain the Forgiveness of Sins.                  At this time, the reader is reminded of a point made in the beginning of this section — that most people do not believe that baptism is a requirement for salvation. Most religious people believe that baptism is important, but not essential to salvation. They contend that one must be baptized to “obey God,” but they believe that one is saved before he is baptized.

            In light of these things, so commonly believed, this point that Biblical baptism is for the forgiveness of sins cannot be overemphasized. The Biblical truth is that baptism is not something one does after he is saved. Instead, as the apostle Peter declared, it is something that one is to do in order to be saved.

“ . . . Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost” (Acts 2:38).

            The prepositional phrase “for the remission of sins” in this verse is identical (in the Greek and English) to the words that Jesus used when he said that he shed his blood “for the remission of sins” (Mat. 26:28). In other words, the purpose for which Jesus shed his blood and the purpose for which man is to be baptized are one and the same. Jesus shed his blood so that man could obtain the remission of sins, and, likewise, the purpose of baptism is so that man can obtain the remission of sins.

            Another significant scripture that verifies the conclusion that baptism is a command of God that one must obey in order to be saved is Mark 16:15-16. In this text, Jesus decreed,

“He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned” (Mark 16:15-16). 

            Considering the words of this text without any preconceived ideas, let us ask, where did Jesus place being “baptized” — before or after salvation? It is undeniable that, according to Mark 16:16, Jesus placed being baptized before salvation, which means that being baptized is required in order for the believer to be saved. In order to say that one can be saved without being baptized or before being baptized, one would have to change the words of Jesus. And surely no one would contend that a doctrine is correct when it changes what Jesus taught.

            From these scriptures the following conclusion is logically inescapable — baptism is a command of God that one must obey in order to be saved, and one is not saved until he is baptized for that purpose! Therefore, the Church of Christ teaches that one must be baptized in order to be saved.

Does The Church of Christ Believe That We Earn Our Salvation?

            When we contend that baptism is essential to salvation, a common objection to such teaching is that it means that we earn our salvation. The objection might be worded like this, “Baptism is a work. If we are saved by baptism, then we are saved by works, but the Bible teaches that we are saved by grace, not works!”

            Indeed, the Bible teaches that “by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). Make no mistake about it. We do not, and cannot, earn our salvation. God owes us nothing! Salvation is by grace. However, that does not mean that our salvation is unconditional. Instead, the Scriptures clearly teach that obedience is essential to salvation.

            Note three examples of such teaching. (1) Jesus taught that the one who shall enter the kingdom of heaven is the one who does the will of the Father which is in heaven (Mat. 7:21).   (2) The author of Hebrews identified the one whom Jesus saves as the one who obeys him (Heb. 5:8-9). (3) The apostle Paul gave the sobering warning that the Lord will take vengeance upon all who do not obey the gospel (II Thes. 1:7-9).

            However, when we obey the gospel, including our obedience to the command to be baptized, we do not earn our salvation! The “work” that we do in response to a promise or command of God is a work of righteousness, not a work of merit.  The merit is in the Lord who commanded the work, and in whom we place our trust as we obey him!

            To illustrate, repentance is an act of faith, relying on the Lord to save (Acts 17:30), and confession is an act of faith, relying on the Lord to save (Romans 10:10). Likewise, baptism is an act of faith, relying on the Lord to save (Acts 2:38).

            The truth is that the grace of God is appropriated to us when we, by trust in the Lord, do the works that God has commanded!

The Plea of the Church of Christ

            Let us  make the Word of God our sole guide in religion (2 Tim. 3:16-17), and

                        (1) Teach what the New Testament church was taught to teach,

                        (2) Believe what the New Testament church was taught to be believe,

                        (3) Do what the New Testament church was taught to do, then, we will be the Church of Christ!  If not, why not?

Instrumental Music and the New Testament

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INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC AND THE NEW TESTAMENT

David Sain

                        As this century draws to a close, the great church of our Lord is undergoing many changes, some of which are unscriptural and are, therefore, alarming. One change that is taking place within our brotherhood that greatly concerns me is the attitude of many members of the church regarding the use of mechanical instruments of music in Christian worship.

                        Because of a lack of teaching in recent years, many among us do not know why we reject the use of instrumental music in Christian worship.  Even though they may understand that, in the churches of Christ, instrumental music in worship is believed to be wrong, many are personally unable to tell you why. 

                        Other brethren do not believe instrumental music in worship is wrong and would not object to its use, even though they dare not openly advocate the use of it.    And a growing number of brethren, in an ecumenical spirit, no longer believe that instrumental music in worship should be made a test of fellowship, and are willing to “join hands” with denominational neighbors and participate in worship with instrumental music.  Some of those who have participated in such “common ground” meetings declare that, for conscience sake (?), they do not participate in such worship, but by their words of encouragement and praise to those who abide not in the doctrine of Christ, they endorse their error and “bid God speed” to such (II John 9-11).

                        These conditions are indicative of a number of facts.  First, they indicate that too many members of the church have not engaged in a serious study of this and other fundamental lessons from the Bible.  Second, these conditions indicate that many preachers and Bible class teachers are neglecting to teach the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  Third, and probably the primary factor, these conditions reflect the growing disregard for the Holy Scriptures as our all-sufficient and final source of authority in all religious matters.

THE REAL ISSUE

                        The real issue of instrumental music in worship is not a question of the beauty of either vocal or instrumental music, nor of our likes or dislikes.  There are people who seem to think we do not have instrumental music in worship because we do not like instrumental music–period!   That is not true.  Most of us have stereos in our houses and in our cars so that we might enjoy good music at home and away from home.  It is not a question of not liking music.

                        The issue is not a question of whether we think we can sing better with or without instrumental music.  How we sound should not determine if it is right or wrong.

                        The issue is not popularity, i.e., how many people use or reject instrumental music in worship.  The fact that our peers do or do not use it should not be a factor in our acceptance or rejection of it.

                        Neither is the issue the sincerity or goodness of those who use or reject instrumental music in worship.   Sincerity and goodness within themselves do not make one right (Prov. 14:12; Matt. 7:21-23).

                        The real issue in the matter before us is: What is God’s will on the subject?  That, and that alone, is the issue. 

FURTHER CLARIFICATION OF

THE REAL ISSUE

                        Our concern in considering Instrumental Music and the New Testament  is not that of finding the use of instrumental music mentioned in the Bible.  That is easy.  Neither is it a question of finding a scripture that speaks of instrumental music being used in worship.  That is easy also. 

                        Finding circumcision, the burning of incense and an animal sacrifice is an easy matter also.  But finding these things mentioned in the Bible does not authorize them for Christian worship.  Likewise,  finding instrumental music in the Bible does not authorize it for Christian worship. 

                        Our concern in the matter before us is to find the scripture in the New Testament that authorizes the use of instrumental music in Christian worship.  That is not so easy.  In fact, it cannot be done!

                        The real issue is:  What is God’s will on the subject?  Again, I say, that, and that alone, is the issue.  In a study of this and any other doctrinal matter, we must be guided solely by that principle.

HOW GOD REVEALS HIS WILL TO US

                        God speaks to us today through Christ (Heb. 1:1-2).  God, the Father, has declared that we are to hear Christ (Matt. 17:5).  Christ commissioned his apostles to teach all things that he had commanded them (Matt. 28:20).   To aid them in carrying out that charge, he sent the Holy Spirit to guide them (John 14:26, 15:26, 16:13).  Paul said that the words which they spoke were the words given by the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 2:12-13; II Tim. 3:16-17), and that meant that their words were not the words of man, but the word of God (I Thes. 2:13). 

                        With the old covenant no longer in effect (Col. 2:14; Eph. 2:15; Heb. 9:15-17), Christians must come to Christ and to his will revealed in the New Testament to learn what God desires in worship today. 

What the New Testament teaches

                        “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24).  To worship God in truth means to be guided by truth, which is God’s word (John 17:17).  To worship God acceptably we must do what the Lord has instructed us to do.

                        The New Testament clearly instructs Christians to sing.  Paul instructed, “Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord” (Eph. 5:19).  And he commanded, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord” (Col. 3:16).

                          Paul wrote the Corinthians, “What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also (I Cor. 14:15).  James wrote, “Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms (Jas. 5:13). 

                        These scriptures clearly teach that Christians are to sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.  When people do this in worship, they are doing exactly that which God has authorized.

                        Where is the scripture that commands instrumental music in Christian worship?  It does not exist!  Where is the scripture that provides an example of instrumental music in Christian worship?  It does not exist! Where is the scripture that authorizes instrumental music in Christian worship by inference?  It does not exist! 

                        When people use instrumental music in worship, they do so without authority from God.

                        There are only two kinds of music known to man: vocal and instrumental.  Each is a definite action and can be done independently of the other.  Had the Lord instructed us generically to “make music,” we would be free to have vocal or instrumental music, or both vocal and instrumental music in worship.  But the Lord’s instruction is not generic.  He has specified the kind of music by which he wants us to worship him.  He has told us to sing. 

                        Therefore, we have authority from God for vocal music in worship, and we have no authority from God for instrumental music in worship.  Let it be understood that this is our simple and deeply-felt reason (and it is reason enough) for rejecting instrumental music in Christian worship.

                        Vocal music is the only kind of music divinely authorized for Christian worship!

DEFENSES OF INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC

                        Through the years various arguments have been made to justify the use of instrumental music in Christian worship.  Here is an examination of and response to five of those arguments.

                        Defense #1:  Instrumental music was used in the Old Testament with God’s approval.  Therefore, it must be all right for us. 

                        Answer: While we are to study the Old Testament for the very practical lessons which are there for us (Rom. 15:4), we are in no sense bound to the Old Testament.  So whether God approved or allowed instrumental music in worship in the Old Testament period has absolutely nothing to do with what God approves in Christian worship.

                        Defense #2:  Instrumental music is only an aid; it only serves to assist the worshipper.  

                        Answer: It is argued that instrumental music is similar to a crippled man using a walking cane.  But the two are not similar.  When using a walking cane, a crippled man is still just walking.  But when people add instrumental music to their singing, they no longer have only vocal music.  They have added instrumental music, which is another kind of music.  We must not confuse an aid with an addition.

                        An example of a true aid to singing would be a pitch pipe.  We cannot sing without a pitch, and a pitch pipe aids the song director to pitch the song correctly.  But, when the pitch is set and the song is begun, that which is done is only that which is commanded, viz., singing.   The sounding of one tone by a mechanical instrument does not constitute music.

                        The hymnbook is another example of a true aid in carrying out the Biblical command to sing.  The printed words and notes enable the worshippers to sing in an orderly and harmonious manner.  When they use the hymnbook to sing, the only kind of music being made is vocal music, which is the kind that the Lord has authorized.

                        To further distinguish between an aid and going beyond that which is authorized, consider the Lord’s Supper.  The grape juice (fruit of the vine) reminds us of the blood of Jesus.  The cup used to hold the grape juice is a true aid in keeping this memorial feast.  But suppose that in addition to the grape juice, we also serve apple juice for those who like the taste of apple juice.  That would not be an aid, but the addition of another kind of juice.   Now apply that same line of thought to the addition of instrumental music for those who like the sound of such.

                        Defense #3:  The New Testament is silent on instrumental music so how can we say that instrumental music is unscriptural? 

                        Answer: This question implies that the only way that instrumental music could be unscriptural is to find a scripture that plainly declares, “Thou shalt not use instrumental music in worship.”  And there is no such scripture.  Neither is there a scripture which says, “Thou shalt not burn incense in worship,” but those who argue the first in an attempt to justify instrumental music do not argue the latter in an attempt to justify incense in worship. 

                        The absence of a “thou shalt not” does not constitute authority to do a thing in worship.  What if I were to argue that we can use a classic rock and roll song like “Blue Suede Shoes” in worship?  I think you would object, but I might argue, “Why not?  The Bible does not say, ‘Do not use rock and roll songs in worship.’ ”  To which you would surely respond, “But the Bible specifically authorizes hymns, and spiritual songs (Eph. 5:19), and there is no authority for using secular songs.”  And, of course, you would be right. 

                        Now, dear reader, follow that same line of reasoning regarding the use of vocal music (the kind of music which is specifically authorized), and the use of instrumental music (the kind of music for which we have no divine authority).  The silence of scriptures must be noted and respected.  “Let us speak where the Bible speaks and stay silent where the Bible is silent” is still a valid plea!

                        The Hebrew writer made an arugment from the silence of the scriptures.  “For the priesthood being changed, there is made of necessity a change also of the law.  For he of whom these things are spoken pertaineth to another tribe, of which no man gave attendance at the altar.  For it is evident that our Lord sprang out of Juda; of which tribe Moses spake nothing concerning priesthood” (Heb. 7:12-14).  Moses had specifically said that the tribe of Levi was the priestly tribe.  Since the tribe of Levi, and no other tribe, including Judah, was specified, that meant that no person from Judah or any tribe other than Levi would serve or be a priest under the Mosaic priesthood.  That which Moses specified made the matter clear and unmistakable.  Likewise that which God has specified (vocal music in worship) makes the matter of music in worship equally clear and unmistakable.

                        Defense #4:  The book of Revelation says there will be instrumental music in heaven, so why is it wrong to have it in the church? 

                        Answer: It is true that the scriptures do speak of instrumental music in heaven (Rev. 5:8, 14:2ff).   However, the references to instrumental music in worship in heaven have absolutely nothing to do with what God approves in Christian worship.  Remember, the real issue is:  Where is the scripture in the New Testament which authorizes us to use instrumental music in Christian worship?

                        Defense #5:  The Greek word “psallo” authorizes the use of instrumental music in worship. 

                        Answer: The word “psallo,” in various forms, occurs five times in the New Testament.  “Singing and making melody (psallontes) with your heart” (Eph. 5:19).  “Sing (psallo) unto thy name” (Rom. 15:9).  “Sing (psallo) with the spirit and sing (psallo)  with the understanding” (I Cor. 14:15).  And in James 5:16, “sing praises (psallein). 

                        First, note from the scriptures above that the one hundred and forty-eight scholars who translated the American Standard Version and King James Version have said with one voice that “psallo” in the New Testament means “sing.”  That alone should settle the matter.  

                        Second, note the meaning of the word.  The word psallo means to pluck, to touch, to cause to vibrate.  That is what the carpenter does when he pulls the chalk line and lets it go to make the chalk mark.  That is what the archer does when he stretches the bow string and lets the arrow fly.  In like manner it is what a musician does when he plucks the strings of a guitar or harp.  But, note that it is not the instrument that is psalloing.  The person performing the act is psalloing and the instrument is the object of the psalloing.                      

                        So, when the action of psallo is commanded in Ephesians 5:19, what is the object of that action?  Clearly, the heart is the “instrument” that is to be psalloed in worship.  Indeed, an instrument inheres in the word psallo and the apostle Paul defined that instrument (Eph. 5:19; Col. 3:16).  It is the worshipper’s heart, not a mechanical instrument .

                       When a Christian sings, his heart responds to the melody of the song and he psalloes with his heart.  That is the New Testament use of the word.

                        Third, note that if psallo authorizes the use of mechanical instruments of music in worship, it does more than grant liberty for such.  It would require such, and no one could obey Ephesians 5:19 without doing what the word means.  Therefore we would all have to equip ourselves with a mechanical instrument, bring it to church and play it, or we would fail to obey the command to psallo.

                        Fourth, if the contention is correct that the mechanical instrument is in the definition of the word psallo, then it would follow that no one can personally and fully learn the will of God on the subject of music in worship without learning to read the Greek New Testament.  No one could know the truth just by reading the English New Testament, because the English translations of Ephesians 5:19 and Colossians 3:16 do not even hint at the use of a mechanical instrument.  (Brethren, beware of intellectual elitism that  would cause the average English-reading student of the Bible to believe that he cannot know the will of God by himself and that he must have a Greek and Hebrew scholar to reveal it to him.)

FINAL THOUGHT

                        If God had authorized only instrumental music in Christian worship, we would be bound to have only instrumental music in worship to God. 

                        If God had authorized both instrumental and vocal music for Christian worship, we could obey God only by doing both.

                        However, since God authorized only vocal music for Christian worship, the only correct conclusion is: vocal music is the only kind of music divinely authorized for Christian worship, and that is the only kind of music we can have in worship if we are to be pleasing to him who is the object of our worship!

Exercising Wisdom in Marriage

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Exercising Wisdom in Marriage

David Sain 

The Importance of This Study

                        A thoughtful consideration of the matter will make it clear that studies about marriage are extremely important for a number of reasons:

                        (1)               Because God has definite laws and instructions about marriage, which we must obey if we are going to live in his favor, and if we are to experience the joy and happiness that is available within a good, strong family.

                        (2)               Because of the far-reaching effects and consequences that a marriage has on so many people. A marriage affects the lives of every member of the two families that become related-by-marriage, including the husband, the wife, the children, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, et al.

                        Likewise, the broken home has far-reaching consequences, affecting not only the immediate family, but also the extended family, associates, and friends. And its effects usually have a life-lasting impact.

                        And the most sobering aspect of the far-reaching effects of the family, whether whole or broken, is the eternal effect. The soul of everyone involved is at stake, and there is no escaping the eternal impact the family members have upon each other.

                        Therefore, it is expedient, even imperative, that we study this matter to prevent families from breaking down and breaking up.

                        (3)               Because of the current efforts to change marriage and the family. Radical feminists want to dissolve the traditional family as we have known it, and advocates of homosexual relationships make no secret of their agenda to restructure the family unit by seeking legalization of their “unions,” thereby gaining validation of their perverse behavior (Rom. 1:24-27).

                        The Lord’s people must stand strong against such evil, and we must boldly and faithfully teach the truth about the family.

                        (4)               Because of a myriad of negative cultural influences upon marriage and the family. Television is a powerful influence upon our society and the millions of people who watch the popular network shows see a distorted view of the family. Fathers are typically presented as “dorks” that are inept at nearly everything they attempt, and the typical parent/child relationship is void of the exercise of parental authority or respect for such. In addition to that, many shows present live-in relationships, without the commitment of marriage, all with the underlying message that such is “ok.”  Failed marriages and broken families are made entertaining, rather than regrettable and heartbreaking.

                        (5)               The ease with which divorce may be obtained in most states is another reason for studying God’s plan for marriage. You have seen the reports in newspapers, and you have heard preachers tell the saddening news, about the divorce rate in the United States of America. In recent years, some of the reports have brought a glimmer of hope because we have been told that the divorce rate has declined at least slightly.  However, these encouraging reports notwithstanding, the divorce rate is still alarmingly high. Each year, there is one divorce granted for every two new marriages, and that is a national shame!

                        While this rate is believed to be higher among non-Christians, it is soberingly true that the divorce rate among Christians is also a shame! And it seems to me that such has become so common among us that it does not bother us or concern us like it once did. We have become desensitized regarding this (and a lot of other things that are contrary to the laws of God).

                        Of course, even if we did not hear and read the statistics about divorce, we all know that this is a major problem in our society because we all are affected by divorce—either by experiencing it ourselves or through the divorces experienced by our relatives, brethren, friends, neighbors, etc.

                        Obviously, we need to continue to inculcate the Biblical principle of “one man for one woman for as long as they both shall live.”

                        (6)               Another cultural influence that makes this type of study important is the trend away from the God-ordained roles in a marriage. In the garden of Eden, God told the woman, “thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Gen. 3:16). And, in Ephesians 5:22-23 (KJV), the apostle Paul commanded, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”

                        God has made it plain that the role of the husband is that of leadership. In fact, God’s plan throughout man’s existence has been male spiritual leadership. Contrarily, the trend in our society is away from this divine order for marriage. Many are the women who usurp the authority of their husbands, and, shamefully, many are the husbands who are perfectly willingly for them to do so. However, the desires and behavior of husbands and wives notwithstanding, God’s instructions regarding the roles of husbands and wives have not changed; it is still God’s will for the husband to be the leader of his family. (This will be dealt with more fully in a later point.)

                        (7)               Finally, this is a much-needed study because of the profound significance of marriage —a sacred institution ordained by the Lord — which should be founded upon his laws and instructions.

Why Is It?

                        Why is it that some marriages seem so happy and “together,” while others seem to be on the verge of falling apart? Why is it that some husbands and wives seem so “close” and others only “exist” under the same roof? Why do some stay together “through thick and thin” while others crumble and collapse under less-trying circumstances?

                        The answers to these questions will be divided into two categories. First, we shall consider the basics and fundamentals of marriages that last, as opposed to those that do not last. Second we shall consider some of the proverbs that provide wise counsel regarding the marriage relationship.  

Basics and Fundamentals

                        The following are some things that are common to good marriages — things that enable husbands and wives to do more than just survive, but to be happy in a good relationship that will survive the struggles and storms that come to all marriages.

                        (1)               Genuine love. While love may seem obvious as being essential to a lasting marriage, let it be noted that here we are not talking about love as it is perceived by so many.

                        Contrary to the message of the majority of songs, movies, and television shows, genuine love is much more than passion. Oh, yes, passion is a part of love, but love is more than a feeling. Love—genuine love—involves the way you treat husband or wife. It is a decision to act in a certain way toward that one to whom you have committed yourself.

                        Dan Gulley observed,

“Sizzle is good in a marriage, especially young, newly married couples (as Solomon noted in Proverbs 5:18-19). But sizzle alone won’t sustain a marriage. The fuel that binds husbands and wives together over the long haul of a lifetime is love, not lust. Not the syrupy, sexy, sensual, superficial “I may hate myself in the morning, but I’m gonna love you tonight,” desperate housewives” kind of love so popular in movies and music. Instead, I’m talking about the powerful, stick-with-it kind of love so described in the Bible.”

                        The best definition of love that I have ever heard is: genuine love is an unconditional commitment to always act in the best interest of an imperfect person. Although your husband or wife may be acting in a way that makes it difficult to like him or her at the moment, exercising genuine love will prompt you to act in the right way toward your spouse. In exercising wisdom in marriage, true love gives the message, “Regardless how you act, I will treat you right. I may not like your behavior at the moment, but that will not stop me from loving you.”

                        To apply the words of the apostle Paul when he listed the characteristics of love in I Corinthians 13, the husband and wife who practice genuine love:

                        (a)               Will be patient with each other.

                        (b)               Will be kind to each other.

                        (c)               Will not be jealous, or boastful in their relationship.

                        (d)               Will never be rude to each other.

                        (e)               Will not be selfish in their desires or behavior.

                        (f)                 Will not be easily angered by each other.

                        (g)               Will not store in memory a record of wrongs.

                        (h)               Will rejoice in what is right, but never in unrighteousness.

                        (i)                 Will, because of love, bear any adversity that comes along.

                        (j)                Will know no limit to their faith, their hope, or their endurance.

Oh, what a great marriage awaits those who decide to practice that kind of love!

                        (2)               Worship. One of the fundamentals of a strong, fulfilling marriage is sincere devotion to God. God needs to be made the heart and core of all that happens in a marriage — for three distinct and significant reasons:

                                                (a)               It is the right thing to do. God wants us to worship and serve him

                                                (Jn. 4:23-24).

                                                (b)               The salvation of both the husband and wife is at stake. And faithful

                                                worship is a vital part of salvation.

                                                (c)               The husband and wife who worship together are much more likely to stay together. Worshipping God faithfully fortifies against those worldly and sinful things that can weaken and even destroy a marriage.

                        Worship should be done in two settings. It should be done publicly, with the church, and it should be done privately, at home, taking time every day to read and study the Bible, and pray together.

                        In a God-centered marriage, meeting with the church for worship is a “given.” There should never have to be a “discussion” or “question” about going to church. To phrase it another way, it should be understood by that except for uncontrollable hindrances, when the church is scheduled to meet, they will be there (and only emergencies will excuse tardiness)!

                        Furthermore, in a God-centered marriage, it should be customary to engage in family worship. Prayer should be a frequent thing. Husbands and wives should pray together. And at mealtime, it should be standard faire to pause and thank God for the food and other blessings of the day.

                        If children should bless the union of a man and a woman, a vital part of the training those children for life and eternity is the devotional period. In a one-on-one setting, or in a family setting, fathers need to read Dr. Seuss to their children, but much more importantly, they need to read the Bible to them. Mothers need to read from the classic children’s books to their little ones, but they also need to read to them from the Bible storybooks.

                        Also, home devotional periods are a wonderful opportunity to develop communication and understanding among the family members, with everyone practicing the responsibility to listen, and the freedom to “open up” and talk, with respect for one another.

                        (3)               Fulfillment of roles. In order to have a strong, lasting marriage, both the husband and the wife need to understand and fulfill his or her God-given roles.

                        God’s Word is clear, emphatic, and unmistakable about each one’s responsibility. Note the words of the apostle Paul,

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph. 5:22-25).

                        Now the scriptures do not teach that the man is any more important than the woman, or that he is a better person than she. In their relationship to God, they are equal (I Pet. 3:7), but God has ordained male leadership in the home (and the church; see I Tim. 2:11-12).

                        Compare the “role” of the policeman while on duty. He may not be any better person than you, and in other respects he may not be as important as you, but when he is on duty, he has authority over you and you are to be in submission to that authority. So, likewise, the wife may not be inferior to her husband in any respect. In fact, she may be a better person than he, and she may have more intelligence or wisdom than he, but her God-given role is to be in submission to God’s authority, who has decreed that her husband is to be the head in their relationship. The wife refuses to submit to her husband is in rebellion to God.

                        The husband must also understand and fulfill his role, as prescribed by the Lord. He is not the “exalted” one, sitting on a throne of dictatorship. Instead, as the head of his wife, he is to provide spiritual leadership for his wife (and the family, if they have children).

                        The abdication of men from their role as leaders has resulted in numerous problems. One such problem that the church has faced in recent years may very well be linked to the absence of male leadership. Consider this: Could it be that the church would not be facing the “issue” of the role of women in the church if men had been leading in the way that they should have been, in the first place?

                        It is hard to overstate the importance of the role of the husband in the marriage. Few things even come close to affecting the health of the marriage like this. Every marriage needs a male, spiritual leader. Every husband needs to demonstrate what it means to be a real man — a godly man.

                        His life should model proper behavior as a Christian, as a loving husband, and as a good citizen. The crying need of our society and families today is male, spiritual leadership. Therefore, I feel it expedient and highly appropriate to give this emphasis to the role of men in marriage and the family. Truly, one of the great needs of the world, the church, and the family is men who will be the kind of men that God designed them to be!

                        (4)               Commitment. If there is one thing that is consistently the bedrock of a strong marriage, it is a deep sense of commitment.

                        During the wedding ceremony, the prospective bride and groom promise to be faithful unto each other and keep their vows until death shall separate them! And that promise must be much more than words, it must be a conviction! When I look at couples that foolishly do not choose to worship and serve God but, nevertheless, have a lasting marriage, I wonder how they do it. Upon what basis do they stay together? Well, among other things, such as practicing genuine love (see above), they are committed to keeping their wedding vows and making their relationship work.

                        A few years ago, a lady impressed that fact upon me. She said, “I did not grow up a Christian. My parents were good people, and they tried to teach me right, but I did not become a Christian until years after I married. But, thanks to the way my parents brought me up, I knew when I got married and said, ‘I do,’ that that was ‘it.’ It was a promise I intended to keep!”

                        But, again I ask, why do some marriages fall apart and some marriages break up, while others do not? Is it because some have more problems to deal with, or more obstacles to overcome? No, not necessarily.

                        Of course, no family is without its problems and trials, but the marriages that last and the families that stay together are those who determine to work through their troubles and disagreements. They are dedicated to having a strong, lasting relationship, not in the absence of troubles and disagreements but in spite of troubles and disagreements! That is truly exercising wisdom in marriage.

                        I tell prospective brides and grooms that there is one thing of which they may be sure. They will have disagreements, and there will be things that arise that will test their love and devotion to each other. And, if they are going to survive and have a lasting relationship, they will have to work through, not run from, their troubles. They must have a deep commitment to each other for as long as they both shall live.

                        Good marriages, lasting marriages do not “just happen.” They are the result of two people who commit themselves to work together to “make it happen.” In other words, “calling it quits” is not an option for those who want to “go the distance.”  Again, I say, that is exercising wisdom in marriage.

                        In this day of no-fault, “quickie” divorces, we must remember and stay focused upon what the Bible declares,

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” and “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matt. 19:6, 9).

Proverbs That Provide Wise Counsel

Regarding the Marriage Relationship

                        The word “proverb” comes from a Hebrew word meaning “to rule or to govern.” From that definition of the word comes the assessment that the book of Proverbs is a book of sayings designed to rule or govern our conduct. Or, as it has been titled, “Proverbs—Laws of Heaven for Life Upon Earth” (Robert T. Boyd 250). Over the course of the book there is a proverb applicable to nearly ever situation of life, and to every type of person, including husbands and wives.

                        In the remaining part of this writing, I shall direct your attention to a variety of selected proverbs that are pertinent to marriage, and the guidance given to husbands and wives.

                        (1)               In the early part of Proverbs, we are counseled,

“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: ...The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Proverbs 1:5-7).

Similar instruction is stated in chapter four, verse five and seven,

“Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. ...Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:5-7).

                        Exercising wisdom in marriage calls for the husband and wife to have a good understanding of marriage, and all that it involves. It calls for them to understand their respective roles (as discussed earlier). With wisdom and understanding, the wife can submit unto her husband “as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22). With wisdom and understanding, the husband will dwell with his wife with knowledge (1 Pet. 3:7).

                        (2)               One of the most encompassing proverbs, and one that needs application to marriage is the wise man’s counsel regarding the heart.

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

                        Exercising wisdom in marriage will cause one to have a good attitude in all circumstances and regarding all people, and maintaining a good attitude requires mental discipline – “keeping the heart with all diligence.”

                        Exercising wisdom in marriage will cause one to resist temptation and abstain from everything that would be harmful and detrimental to one’s marriage, and that requires mental discipline – “keeping the heart with all diligence.”

                        Solomon specifically addressed the matter of guarding against temptation to commit sexual sin. He warned,

“For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell” (Proverbs 5:3-5).

He instructed husbands to find pleasure in their own wives, and not with other women. Note two sobering sections of Proverbs:

“Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, And He ponders all his paths” (Proverbs 5:15-21, NKJV).

“Can a man take fire in his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals, And his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife; Whoever touches her will not go unpunished. ... The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it” (Proverbs 6:27-29, 32, NASB).

Also, note the warning of Proverbs 7:6-27.

                        Exercising wisdom in marriage means that neither the husband nor the wife will choose to destroy his or her marriage for a moment of sensual pleasure. For such is expensive! The price for the “pleasures of sin” can be the destruction of one’s marriage — and the price can be the loss of one’s soul in eternal condemnation in hell!

                        (3)               Exercising wisdom in marriage means that husbands and wives will be kind to each other, and speak kindly to each other. Solomon effectively described the importance and value of appropriate words, and the destructive effect of inappropriate words.

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1-4).

Oh, how many times we see the truth of this proverb illustrated. How husbands and wives respond or react to what the other one does or says has the potential of either helping or hurting, especially in a moment of conflict or misunderstanding.

In keeping with that thought, note this meaning-filled proverb,

“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

Regarding the proper use of speech, the wise man also added this well-known proverb,

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).

This text reminds us of the power of tongue to build up and encourage. Exercising wisdom in marriage means that husbands and wives will consciously make an effort to compliment each other and reaffirm their value to each other.

                        Conversely, there are two proverbs that give pause to wives regarding the misuse of the tongue (although I think husbands would do well to make application to themselves).

“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house” (Proverbs 21:9). [The ESV has “quarrelsome” woman.]

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19).

This seems to be an appropriate place to remind husbands of the declaration of Proverbs 18:22.

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”

Husbands, ponder this proverb and exercise wisdom in your marriage by giving thanks for your wife!

                        (4)               Because we are human, we do not always act and speak as we ought. And, being human, no husband and wife will live together for very long without saying or doing something that hurts the other one. As soon as the offending spouse becomes aware of the hurt, the offense needs to be corrected – the offending spouse needs to apologize and seek forgiveness. And the offended spouse needs to follow the Lord’s instructions and forgive when forgiveness is sought (Lk. 17:3-4).

                        Such moments are critical to the marriage relationship. If the right thing is done, the relationship will be strengthened, and the couple will be drawn closer to each other. However, if the right thing is not done, severe damage, even long-lasting damage, can be done to the relationship. At such a time, pride can be a huge barrier to doing the right thing, which usually makes matters worse.

                        Note these divinely inspired warnings about pride:

“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom” (Proverbs 13:10, emphasis mine, ds).

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).

“A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit” (Proverbs 29:23).

                        Surely the reader has seen the truth of these proverbs illustrated numerous times. It makes one wonder, how many marital problems could have been avoided if only pride had been controlled. How many broken marriages might not have been broken if, early in conflicts, pride had been set aside and the right thing done!

                        (5)               Finally, there is a proverb that is not usually applied to marriage, but I suggest to you that it has a much-needed message for husbands and wives.

“Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth” (Proverbs 27:1).

                        We all know that life is uncertain. No one has a guarantee of living another day, and husbands and wives need to be conscious of that fact. They need to value every day and treasure every moment together, for it shall come to an end — maybe sooner than expected.

Conclusion

                        The book of Proverbs is filled with wisdom, and wise are the husband and wife who will heed its guidance and exercise wisdom in their marriage.

                        And the wisest thing that a husband and wife can ever do is keep God and his Word at the heart of their relationship. As Robert Taylor observed, the beauty of marriage “cannot be achieved by a twosome arrangement. It can only be accomplished by a threesome arrangement. Let it be emphatically recalled that ‘Marriage is for those who love God and one another’ as the title of Tom Warren’s excellent book states” (54).

References Cited

Boyd, Robert T. World’s Bible Handbook, World Bible Publishers, 1991.

Gulley, Dan, “Love For the Long Haul!” Smithville Church of Christ Bulletin. 4 Dec. 2005.

Taylor, Robert. Christ In the Home. Baker Book House, 1973.